I don’t like to tell people that I’m a homemaker. Not because I hear disheartening comments about how lucky I am that I don’t have to work all day. Or how nice it is that we can afford to live a life of luxury, which I have no clue what that even means.

It’s actually hearing statements like, “I could never do that,” or “You must be so patient”, or “I wish I was able to do that”,”. . . . those kind of statements are the ones that make me feel like supermom, even when I know that I’m barely keeping it together.

There is nothing spectacular about me. We can’t “afford to live a life of luxury”, which I still laugh a little to myself when I think of that. I’m the “mom next door”, unless your next door neighbor is a real crazy person, famous person, rich person, crazy cat lady…..then I’m just an ordinary mom.

I know most of my friends, when they describe my day, have it pictured way differently than I could ever fathom. The endless supply of time and endless supply of toilet paper these people think I have. It’s nothing short of remarkable. People, I run out time and toilet paper just like you do! I forget to go to the store or run out of time and don’t make it. For the love.

I feel like ….. accomplished. . . . but with a big “A”…. Accomplished, if I have dinner ready, by dinner time. Also if dinner is anything other than cereal, a ham sandwich, McDonald’s, or fishsticks then I feel like Julia Child. It’s pretty fantastic but I’m not really here to toot my own horn.

Once bedtime has rolled around our house looks like it has been ransacked by a herd of Tasmanian devils. Now that the baby is, well ……. the “baby” is four years old now …. it seems that every single room of our house has books and broken crayons and sippy cups and toys and cheerios laying around.

Sometimes I find awful ugly things in the car, like the chicken nugget that looked like it came from last night’s Happy Meal except we haven’t went to a drive thru in six weeks. Yuck. There are the occasions that I come across something nasty when cleaning underneath the bed, you grown women know what I mean …… that baby bottle full of curdled milk ….the one that you’d just rather trash that bottle than try to bleach it. I’ve been there.

Sometimes I stay up at night making plans and promises to myself, the kind that most of us are guilty of, the everyday resolutions. I tell myself that tomorrow will be better, tomorrow will be different, tomorrow won’t be fruitless. I convince myself that no matter how tired I am that I will get up an hour earlier so I can be even more awake and find that “me time” that I’ve been so desperately craving lately, so that no matter what comes at us in the morning there will be no unresolved conflict. But morning comes and so does the unknown. I still find myself breaking promises to myself and hurrying my kids to the car so we can get to school or dance or piano or whatever errand I find myself needing to do while I’m trying to beat the clock once more.

I get so irritated when they don’t move fast enough or one of them uses unnecessary mannerisms or dare they speak back instead of obey on command. I preach at them about being compassionate to others and being forgiving and showing grace even though so many times I’ve failed to show them grace …..  for simply being children, growing & learning, I mess up, moms. I constantly try to remind my friends that what works best with our family is that we use the “teach me, don’t tell me” method in our home, but more often than not I’m afraid I find myself just giving orders.

When I was a child ……… even as a young adult …..  when anyone would ask me what I wanted to do with my life do you know what I would tell them? I wanted to get married and have children. That was it. That was it? Yes, that was it. But that was everything. I couldn’t think of anything more fulfilling. Then you know what happened? I got married and I had children. Yes. That happened. My feelings changed. Maybe it was the postpartum depression with the first child (thank the Lord that didn’t happen with the second baby) or maybe it was something else but my feelings changed. I began to question things. I began to question God and why if I had a desire to go out on missions, why I would be here, a homemaker with no way to go on any mission trips when that’s the desire of my heart. It’s taken time spent in His word and time in prayer for Him to show me that being a homemaker has been a challenge to holiness for me as it’s producing the fruit of patience, peace, self-control,  and gentleness in me.  The father is blessing me and using this ministry, the mission of motherhood, to stretch me and mold me to do His works daily, something I simply can’t do without Him.

I love that some people think it’s awesome that I’m able to be a homemaker but I have to guard myself because I can be prideful and It’s not about me or what I’m doing (it’s about Him, who He is, and what He’s doing) and there are days that I worry I’m not doing it very well at all. My children (Psalm 127:3) are a blessing from the Lord and what I do with my time with them is the most important thing I’ll ever do in my life (Proverbs 22:6).

It’s hard. This mom stuff is hard. Being a parent is hard. If I could say the one thing that makes sense to me about parenting it’s that nothing makes sense to me about parenting. One thing that has helped me though is shifting my thoughts just a little. Instead of asking why something is happening or how I will get through it, I just remind myself that even if I don’t know why it’s happening, I know HE will get me through it, I know HE is in control, I know HE loves me and He desires intimacy with me and He is leading me, it’s my job to follow. So if I lead, they’ll follow. So essentially, parenting is just one big game of follow the leader. So parents, lead well. Because your children will turn 18 and leave home and long before they leave home you will have planted the seeds already that will be producing fruit. What kind of fruit?

God will give you more than you can handle. Always. But He’s faithful to never give you more than He can handle.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” 

~ Lamentations 3:22-23 ~