My Date With Grace
Yesterday I spent the day doing as little as possible, not because that’s what I wanted to do, but because I was just wiped out.
Wednesday was a really hard day and I was trying to recoup.
My daughter has been having issues the past 8 days with her medical conditions and Tuesday night and Wed morning were the worst, we were up nearly the entire night, only sleeping from about 12:20 am to 1:40 am. Wednesday I had the worst headache all day and by the end of church class Wednesday night I thought I’d die, my head was killing me. I knew yesterday I needed to rest as much as possible, mostly trying to avoid having an autoimmune flare up, which is what I feel like is happening. Little did it occur to me that I was forgetting the biggest event I had planned for the week:
Winter Dinner at my daughter’s school . . . . .
This was the very first dinner at her school and I had promised her I’d come to it. I had purchased the ticket weeks ago and it was tucked safely in my purse. It’s a really big deal to see her so excited and for me to be there, especially with her eating disorder; her and I having meals together is a huge thing.
I even had it written in my planner and I didn’t even look at my planner yesterday. I just forgot.
I picked her up from school and the first thing she asked was, “Mommy, why didn’t you come eat with me today?”
My heart sank.
I asked, “What?” I was so confused.
She said, “Mommy, you were supposed to eat with me today.”
Then I realized the mistake I’d made. My eyes welled up with tears. I felt so terrible. I told her how sorry I was. I wasn’t sure what else to say, her face, it broke my heart to see that sad little face.
Then from the back seat I heard, “Oh, please don’t cry. If you cry then I’ll cry.”
I said, “Oh honey, is that what your teacher had to say to you?”
She shook her head no and said, “No, that’s what I’m telling you.“
I was surprised and my heart just fluttered. How old are you child? How sweet you are, my sweet one!
Then she said, “You can come have lunch with me tomorrow, mommy.”
I agreed.
We all have these expectations and sometimes they go wrong. We get really upset about what should’ve been instead of thinking about what could be. I was this big person about to let these big feelings dictate the rest of my day; then this beautiful little girl reminded me to give myself grace, because she gave me grace. So remember to give yourself grace today.
Anyway later on in the evening my oldest daughter was asking if she could have a sleepover with her best friend the next evening (tonight). I told her that she could but I told her that during the winter break she should have her friend come over and have a sleepover with her, too. I told her, “I’d say she could come over tomorrow night but dad and I are still pretty exhausted from this past week from sister being sick.” To that my youngest said, “Mommy, I did NOT throw up in my bed last night.” (She throws up, A LOT) I said, “Nope, you didn’t throw up in your bed last night. But it’s not your fault when you do throw up in your bed, you can’t help that.” She replied, “I know, mommy . . . and it’s not your fault when you don’t show up to my school to eat with me.”
Bless her bones.
My heart just melted.
I told her thank you, that she was so kind, but then explained that I was responsible for not showing up because I had made a mistake by forgetting to come. She just smiled and hugged me. Again, she gave me grace.
I just love her.
Yesterday I had a date with grace.
All I could think last night was, “Wow.”
I am just completely full of gratitude for the women in her life who pour into her, always teaching her, and loving her. I just thank God for giving us a tribe of beautiful souls that love well.
It’s so important to speak life into our children and to surround them with people who are going to care for them, encourage them, and love them. This little girl loves well, because she’s been loved well, and that’s because God has blessed with her so many people in her life that have been/are incredible examples for her. I’m so thankful for the family, friends, church family, therapists, school faculty, and medical staff that we’ve had.
Through every day we’ve faced that I may have felt was a struggle, we’ve had someone placed in our path that’s been a blessing, and the seeds others have poured into my child(ren) are bearing fruit.
Now I must go get ready: I have a very important lunch date with a V.I.P.
“One who loves a pure heart and who speaks with grace will have the king for a friend.” Proverbs 22:11