I was going through some of my old books this weekend, just books from previous Bible studies and books that I’ve read over the last couple years. I’ve held onto several because I want to hand them over to my daughter when she’s a bit older so she can use them but as I started to skim through the pages of these books I felt a sting of pain in my heart. I couldn’t believe how many things that had really stood out to me before, that had really touched me when I read them . . . somehow I had since forgotten.

I think as the years go by I’m forgetting more and more. Sometimes I feel that for every “new” thing that I learn that I seem to forget 2-3 things. I know that what I lack in knowledge that I make up for in love, but we need both for growth. . . always remember that!

I remember once in a Bible study class several years ago when one of the women confessed that she felt that as soon as she had a verse memorized, that it’d be gone the next week, or even if she’d read a devotional in the morning that sometimes the material was slipping by sunset. I remember feeling so sad for her, but feeling this immense relief because we were one in the same and I thought, “Thank you for sharing, because you gave me permission to not need to hide.” I have something called Auditory Processing Disorder and it causes some frustrations with remembering things and sometimes I have problems following along during conversations. It’s becoming worse as I’m getting older, I think because of the Lupus. It’s difficult. It’s really hard when your greatest desire is to understand God’s word and talk to people about Him and His word. I love to understand God’s word, His promises, His love letter to me and I think the best conversations I’ve had in my life have been gathered around others in my tribe after going over a Bible lesson and then having application. Head knowledge is extremely important but we have to be careful what emphasis we put on that. I can’t place my value on my head knowledge (and by the way, I took this series of spiritual gift tests one time and the knowledge/teaching side of it was always the lowest scoring, like I’ve said there are things in the Bible that my daughter probably knows more than me, but things like serving and mercy and others that were at the highest on the test actually fit my completely), I’m not any less valuable in His work when I don’t remember stories from the Bible or don’t recall the verse from the week. I have to remember that, but I have to pray that the Lord will help me to remember His words.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10i

We need to love on people. Give them a hug, pat their backs, or hold their hands when they’re hurting. We need to walk outside of the walls of the church building . . . and love more. There’s an endless opportunity for us to love others everyday. Yesterday my family and I went to a senior adult care center and my husband handed out a couple Gideon Bibles after we visited with our “Gigi”. Gigi is my grandma. Well actually she’s my husband’s grandma. Well . . . we fight over her. We share her. She’s our “adopted” grandma. We adopted a widow, basically. If you don’t know what that means, it’s means love. It doesn’t mean we went out and found some little old lady who didn’t have any family to give a home to because we wanted to do something nice; what it means is that God provided us an opportunity to love a widow, who in turn blessed us with an incredible relationship with a woman who loves us just as if we were her own, a woman that we get to love just as if she was there in our family right from the very beginning; because in a way she has been. God has carefully and intricately woven us into each others lives and it was His plan from the beginning . . . and she’s been there at beginnings. She’s been a part of our lives for so long. My little one is 4 years old . . . Gigi was there when I found out I was pregnant with her . . . Gigi held that little baby when she was just hours old, sitting next to me in the labor and delivery ward. She was has been in our family since my oldest was 4 years old. She couldn’t be any more a part of my family if she were blood relation. All I could think when I walked the halls of that senior care center yesterday was how sad it was that many of them don’t have people that are there loving on them. As I sat in Gigi’s room talking with her as her grandbabies (by the way my children and my sisters are her only grandbabies), she was talking about some of the conditions that she’s dealt with (poor food quality, some of her money/items being stolen, etc) she said, “I don’t know what these poor little people up here do? I’ve got your mama up here and she goes and gets right up in that office and let’s them know that this can’t happen and we need to work on getting this resolved, but all those little people that don’t have nobody, what – what do they do? I feel bad for them.” It made me think, “Me too, Gigi, me too.”

We just need to love more.

We need to do more.

That’s my goal; love.

Hold a hand today. Touch a heart. Tell someone about Jesus.

Love.

“But whoever loves God is known by God.” 1 Corinthians 8:3

“We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19