I received the incredible blessing of accompanying my oldest to church camp last week. I’ve never been to a church camp, ever, so this was a pretty exciting trip and I didn’t know what to expect. I truly did want to go but more than anything my daughter needed me to be there. If you’ve read any of my other posts then you’ll know that my youngest daughter has suffered with a lot of medical issues since birth and she’s basically stolen the show. I’d like to say it’s some delicate balancing act and that I’ve gotten pretty good at “making it work” and spending time with both of them equally. That would be a lie. I haven’t. I haven’t figured it out. I can’t really think of anything that I’ve gotten figured out. Except Murphy’s Law…..and that’s nothing to write home about.

So my daughter needed this. She desperately needed to know that mom could just “be” with her. She needed to know that I could get away from her sister and put a focus on her. She needed to know that she still mattered and that we could spend time together. It’s all she’s talked about the past two years. Literally. When it came down to us packing for camp this year she couldn’t stop smiling, she gave me dozens of hugs, and constantly told me how happy she was. Here’s the thing, I explained to her that with it being camp it wasn’t like we were going to actually be spending a lot of time “together”, hanging out and bonding, and who even knew if we’d really even talk much (shocker, we barely spoke the whole time) but she didn’t care, she was just happy that I was going.

I was anxious to leave my 3 year old behind. I left very detailed instructions of our daily schedule/care routine/feeding schedule for her daddy, along with a list of phone numbers (about a dozen of them, including 911 and Poison Control…..in case he forgot the number to 911….apparently I’m THAT helicopter mom). I also sought “back up” care for feeding-tube care/help from some girlfriends at church and a neighbor (all nurses) in case he needed any help. Still on the drive to the camp I had a moment of anxiety on the bus where I almost thought I was going to ask the pastor to pull over and let me out so my husband could pick me up ….. because I didn’t think I could leave the little person…she’d never been away from me a night in her life and now she was going to be away from me for 4 days. I hid my anxious thoughts to myself and it was one of the longest rides of my life. In full transparency, when camp was over and we got home, my husband and I were unloading the car and I said, “Thank you….for keeping her alive.” Why? Why would I say that? Well because sometimes we don’t think. Of course, his response was an immediate, “Yeah, I know you don’t trust me to take care of her.” Or something along those lines, which really isn’t true at all, it’s just that I lack control of everything in my life and the only “control” or “perceived control” that I have is knowing that I can do the things the doctors and nurses have taught me to keep her feeling better and when I don’t have that “control” or that “purpose” sometimes I feel like I don’t have any. That’s a sad thing to admit but if we’re just keeping it real – that’s me, y’all, that’s what I’m feeling. That’s where I’ve been, that’s where I’m at.

Fast forward to our first night of camp, a.k.a. the first night of my mini-vacation as I was calling it, and one of the campers got sick. She vomited multiple times. My first thought was God has got a sense of humor. My hindsight is this trip absolutely had the hand of God over it and that it was by divine appointment that I was there. Completely exhausted, on my hands and knees on a cold floor, cleaning puke up with paper towels (I’ll never eat mac&cheese again) so I could go back and mop it up. That was how I spent my very first night at church camp. It’s truly funny right? Who else would’ve been better for that job? I mean, really?!? Sure the other two sponsors have cleaned up their share of vomit, but that sort of stuff doesn’t even phase me anymore, and I’m quite use to the lack of sleep as well. Bless that little girls heart, what a start to her week, but she was totally fine in the morning. It was absolutely gross and smelled awful, but I kept grinning about it, all I could think was that it was such a Godwink and it was actually a blessing. It was a blessing to me, for me, to be able to take care of her and serve the girls in my cabin by cleaning up that mess, and hopefully I was able to be a blessing to them as well.

The rest of the week was great and it was amazing to hear the children repeating things that they had learned. It is just incredible to hear the children at camp reciting the Bible verses every day and coming back the next after memorizing the previous days verse. It warms my heart.

At Cabin Devotions the kids learned about what the probability was of Jesus fulfilling the prophecies. I think this site has covered what we learned that night if you want to check it out!

At Chapel the kids learned the Greek word “Tetelestai” which means “It Is Finished”, and God’s word tells us these were the last spoken words of Jesus on the cross.

The focus verses for the week were Romans 5:8, Romans 6:23, Romans 1:17, and Romans 10:14-15. I love these!

The days were filled with chapel, meals, activities, swimming, missions, canteen, worship, tribal time, and church/cabin devotions.

The kids got to do waterfront sports, target sports, pedal cars, ropes course, and more.

It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed the experience, I’ll cherish it always, and I’d love to go again! It was a great lesson in letting go and that really seems to be my theme this year …… “letting go”. I was forced to let go of this perceived notion I had in my head that if I didn’t have my hand in my toddler’s ‘day-to-day’ that she wouldn’t be able to survive without me. That’s a truly comical statement, isn’t it? God has his hand on our lives, He has any and all control, that is much too massive of a responsibility for us to ever have been given. Only He can hold the glory or bare the burden in regards to survival, by any means.

“The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him.”   Lamentations 3:25 (NIV)

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