The society we live in. It seems like nearly every problem we have can be solved with an app.

Got a problem? There’s an app for that!

The world I live in …. seems like every problem I have or have created in my head ….. there’s shower time for that.

Got a problem? There’s a shower conversation that can help that! I can talk myself down from a cliff, resolve any conflict with my best friend, make terrorists repent, perform like Beyonce, and solve any political problems like a boss …. while in the shower. It’s a thing. But just between us friends, if my husband asks, the water bill is so high because I’m washing his filthy clothes and washing dishes all day and not from those daily lengthy showers. What?! Go ahead and judge, but some of the best answers to the hardest questions take some time to marinate while I shave ………. and sometimes YouTube ads get in the way of my performances.

Moving on.

Last night when I came home from AWANAS I found my oldest daughter playing on her tablet on the couch. So I thought. She was reading my blogs. She mentioned how I had several written (because I told her forever ago that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing my blog with lots of people when there was nothing much to share) and I was left standing there just feeling convicted.

I mean, how often does that happen? We lovingly argued back and forth about it and I realized I am wrong. What kind of message am I sending her if I am saying you should worry that the world might not like your opinion. That you might tick people off? That you might inadvertently hurt someone’s feelings when you can’t control how other people react, you can only try to be loving. No matter what we do people are going to have something to argue about. No matter how loving we are or how pleasant we are to be around; someone will find something to be upset about. Everyone has their own different opinion and some people just need to be right about everything and some people just need to argue about everything to feel good about themselves. I spent a lot of my life, wasted, worrying about what other people thought. You may believe that if it’s your closest friends, family, or church family that you don’t have to worry about that sort of thing but nothing could be further from the truth.  You see, people will always let you down. I think I’ve probably been hurt deeper by people from my family, church, & closest friends than I have anyone else. Why? Maybe I’ve tried putting higher hopes in them or putting them up on a pedastool that they didn’t belong on and we shouldn’t put our faith in anyone but Jesus. I learned years ago that just because people go to church doesn’t mean that they are saved, it doesn’t mean that they care about you, and just because someone seems like your friend doesn’t mean they aren’t talking negatively about you behind your back every chance they get. That’s a harsh reality but it’s a reality. People will talk about you until the day you die and there is nothing that you can do about it. A friend once told me that was why God made our shoulders round – so we can just let stuff roll right off our backs. I like that. One of my favorite quotes, from columnist Regina Brett, “What other people think of you is none of your business.” That’s helped me through a lot of times in life. But why do I care what anyone thinks? Really? I just think …… what if I don’t have anything to say? What if I don’t have anything to say that will add any real value to anyone’s life? I have plenty to say, most of us do, but what if I don’t have anything to say that is going to add value to someones life? I don’t want to constantly ramble. I’m okay with rambling on some because it’s my blog and I can do what I want ….. ha ha ha ……. but seriously. I don’t want to be here just to please myself, I just want to help one person. I know this is what I’m suppose to do. But I still don’t know what I’m suppose to do. I know that doesn’t make sense. I just want people to know Jesus. But who am I? I’m just a college drop out, stay at home mom, who spends way too much time listening to music and I’ve solved every problem in my life, including world peace, by the conversations I’ve had with myself in the shower.

Also.

I’m His.

I’m saved, by grace.

I’m forgiven.

Did I mention?

I just want people to know Jesus.

When I started this blog I was so committed. But then I wasn’t…..because I let things get in the way of me writing. So I was only committed to the thought or idea of it. In 2 days will be the 13 months anniversary of my blog and I’ve barely got anything to show for it. I spent all that time making excuses – I couldn’t figure out that expensive, fancy theme (I still haven’t) so I refused to mess with my blog and didn’t work on it, or I’d make excuses because my kiddo was so sick. Only giving the occasional blog here and there. I even wrote a blog back the first of April and a couple months later a friend of mine, Carri Oller, had it published in her book, “Enjoy The Journey”,  so I should have known that at least one person thought I had something worth saying.  I’ve resolved to do better, to be better. I still have something inside that tells me that nobody is going to care what I have to say and maybe I don’t have anything to say, yet. Or at least nothing worth reading about just yet and maybe I’m just waiting for that “aha moment” to start sharing my blog with friends and family. I haven’t even posted my blog to my personal Facebook page yet, instead keeping it on a separate page all this time. I share my blog with a very few personal friends, with other people I know who are hurting, with others in blog groups, and I even got the opportunity to hand out my business card to several ladies at the BGCO Women’s Conference a few months ago and that was a delight to my heart. I know my website is getting increasingly visited by looking at my analytics page but I’m still praying that God will lead this blog to at least one person, whose life it would enrich. If one of my posts would help one person, just one person, this will have been worth it. God willing He has already gone before and prepared the way …..

Got hurt, pain, confusion, desperation, shame, guilt ….. sin?

There’s grace!

God is good and He can’t change, He will ALWAYS be good!

“……who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.“

1 Timothy 2:4