Spiritual Gifts.

There aren’t too many topics that make me uncomfortable to talk about; this is one.

I’ve taken so many tests over the years to determine what my spiritual gifts are because I was told many years ago that a great tool in helping me serve is to be aware of my spiritual gifts, particularly my top three spiritual gifts, and to use that knowledge as a tool to my benefit the church. We are here to serve.

My top three spiritual gifts are:

Prophecy

Giving

Serving

(*I have taken several tests over the years and sometimes it says Prophecy, Giving, Mercy. The majority of times “Mercy” comes in as #4).

For all transparencey, I’m going to take a test today and post the results. That makes me extremely uncomfortable. Why? Because I know when I do that the knowledge/teaching part is going to be at the mid-point to bottom section. That shouldn’t bother me at all. We all have gifts and we are all unique. I’ve made a point of telling people that I’m not comfortable leading because I don’t feel naturally prompted to do so. I’ve also even mentioned in previous blog posts that my 12 year old daughter has a broader knowledge base of Biblical knowledge than I do. . . why joke around about that? Because I’m not. She does. She’s also very unique and lovely and I’m actually pretty happy to be able to say that she knows more than me. It overwhelms my heart and I know that she’s going to be great envangelizing, plus it challenges me even more when it comes to our Bible studies together because that girl can ask some hard questions. I don’t let my lack of a theology degree stop me from telling people about Jesus and I’ve started multiple growth groups with women whose knowledge far surpasses mine and we’ve had some great studies together, it’s about who you’re doing life with and your willingness to learn and strive to get to know the Father.

Still . . . . as I sit here typing up this blog, I’m only on my second cup of pity me, so while I drink down my coffee and work to explain why this is a sensitive subject for me, have mercy.

I’ve never been the kind of girl who could walk into her Pastor’s office and sit down and ask, “How can I serve in my church with my gifts?” because though I do have gifts, I have mindset struggles and that gets in the way.

A lot.

I know that I’m good at giving. It’s never been hard for me to give of my time, resources when I have them, or my energy. I’ll serve where I can but it frightens me to think I don’t have a place and that has stood in my way so many times. We can truly be our worst stumbling blocks sometimes. I have the spiritual gift of prophecy but I don’t fully understand how; how can my highest, strongest spiritual gift be that of prophecy when my lowest gifts are knowledge, wisdom, and such? I know God doesn’t make mistakes but that means every test I’ve ever taken must, right? I’m so uncomfortable about this that I don’t even talk to my Pastor about it and he’s a pretty cool guy, so I should be able to talk to him about stuff like this.

What’s the best thing you’ve ever heard about yourself? The worst?

The hardest?

The best thing you believe about yourself? The impossible?

How do you serve under the eyes of your own scrutiny?

Friends, from experience and pit expectations I tell you, if you struggle with these feelings it’s only when we see ourselves through the lens of grace that we can be successful.