I got some morning snuggles at 7 AM and this little face can light up the room. She’s always smiling and she’s winning everyone’s hearts here.

This lil‘ stinker here . . . she didn’t fall asleep until around 9:30 last night. After she was finally winding down I gave her tablet to her so she could watch a show and I pulled my laptop out and put a movie on. It’s the first time since I’ve been here that I’ve done that. I told her we were going to have a movie night, but we just happened to be watching different movies. Next time we’ll have to watch one together. I pulled my bed (couch) up next to her bed to prop my legs up and she curled up next to my legs. Eventually she inched herself back up to her pillows before falling asleep.

So I feel 10x better today (I’ve decided I will never again have a sandwich from the machine) but the room smelled so bad last night and I got some funny looks this morning . . . enough so that I just wanted to tell everyone that I had a can of tuna (tied up) in the trash can. I didn’t. I’m sure they’ve all had to smell really weird things in patient rooms but, geeze. I’m not having that stuff again, at least not in the room. I did mention it to one of the feeding techs earlier and she belted out laughing. She said, “They were probably already smelling that down the hall!” LOL.

This morning we went downstairs first thing to do some laundry. I wanted to wash Posie’s “B” as well. It’s positively beyond repair, covered with stains I couldn’t get out and maybe only another well seasoned mother could, and is actually embarrassing to carry outside of the house. She needs it, so we brought it. It used to be mine . . . a beautiful white, king size blanket, heavy and comfy. Now it’s about the size of a twin (it’s been washed that many times from her puking) and so brown. Eck. She proudly carried it, wrapped around her body, to the laundry room and threw it in one of the washers while I started another one.

My friend, Jaret, and her little girl came to visit today and it was so great to have some company. If you want to see a real life doll, it’s her little girl. She’s absolutely the most darling little thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. She is sweet, strong, and incredible smart for her age! She really gets around! It was so great to have her around Posie, and eventually Posie even came and played around her, which is very unusual for her. That was good for this mamas heart.

Posie’s Occupational Therapist made this little chart for me to record the weekend successes of her clothes. Those who know her well know that clothes have been an issue and right now her lil‘ toosh keeps showing b/c she pulls the legs of her pants all the way down to her toes and flips it over the top of her toes, before putting her socks and shoes on, and then that makes the pants come off her bottom. I’ve had so many people make comments like, “Oh you need some bigger clothes”, and I think, no, not really, if you only knew what she was doing to make them look like that. So her OT is having her keep one pant leg out of the sock and one in, alternating them each day, to try to get her to where she can wear her pants like they should be worn.

We didn’t have the hardest day but we certainly had some meltdowns. She got tired and cranky and didn’t rest as well as she has been during nap time (did I tell you she’s been napping since taking the Melatonin?). Then she cried off and on about wanting milk and being hungry (which her tech told me to mention to the dietician tomorrow). Then I was also letting her watch our church Sunday service since we got freed up to do so today and after she sang a sweet mumbled version of everything the worship team sang (yes, she was singing along), the youth pastor spoke but we couldn’t hear him, and then a bit later another pastor spoke and we couldn’t hear him for a while either. She cried and cried and cried. She kept asking me to fix it, and wanted me to listen on my phone or computer, which wouldn’t help b/c it wasn’t her tablet causing the problem, and she didn’t understand. She just laid in her bed, snuggled up to the tablet watching the screen, and cried herself to sleep. I was so thankful for the peace and quiet. If we can be real here, I’d snapped at her just a little bit earlier before that happened, we’d been arguing for over an hour about her being hungry and when I’d explain it wasn’t time she got whinier. It’s hard to discern how often it’s okay to remind her and when to just ignore. And I shouldn’t have gotten frustrated, but I did, and my tone and quickness with her wasn’t fair. So I did feel bad when the video didn’t work for her, but I really was glad for her falling asleep.

Did I tell you guys that the little boy who spat in my face last week is gone? Yes, he was discharged, and I’m not even mad about it. Oh, another bonus, Posie told me this morning that she liked mashed potatoes and she will always eat them. I’m about to lose my mind . . . what did she just say? YESSSS! Yes, girl, yes! Now we’re talking!

Her schedule is changed up for tomorrow and I know it’s going to be a big day. Plus she doesn’t like to strip down naked (she gets to wear panties) and get weighed in the morning. Please pray for Posie!