I’ve had so many things in mind for the last couple of years when I thought about starting a blog. I thought it would be so great to just write because it’s something that I know how to do and because I love to just connect with people. Then as we began to really go through some storms from season to season, and I had more and more encouragement from my tribe to start writing – if not to help encourage others but to make them laugh from some of the stories I had (which I’ve probably long forgotten when I should have recorded), the Lord put a burden on my heart to write for Him. I could use my ordinary, my mundane, to say a good word for Him. I want to do that and maybe I haven’t yet but I want to and I know that it’s what He wants. I also know that He’s given me a means to use this platform to not only reach out to others and share about Jesus but to also use my blog as a means to earn money for my family when I haven’t been able to work outside of the home. I’m still learning the ropes on that one and haven’t started doing that money part yet but I’m going to get there. I thought it’d be cool to do book reviews, too. Then when this, “Girl Wash Your Face” book came out, it was all the rave. I thought that it would be a fun book to read. I had so many girlfriends saying so many awesome things about it that I even recommended it to a few friends before I had a chance to read it myself. I wish I hadn’t. So I want to touch on the book but the purpose of this particular blog isn’t meant to be as a book review, I think we’re going to go in a different direction, and it may be book review-ish, but it’s more . You’re going to find plenty of excellent, thorough book reviews on this book and I may even look up some links for some reviews for you and leave on this page for you to reference to, but I have something more on my heart that I really need to just get off. Conviction. You don’t have to agree with anything I say, I just need to talk okay. We’re adults, right?
I finally got the chance to read, “Girl Wash Your Face“, by Rachel Hollis.
Y’all, this is a really good book. She’s a good writer, she’s “real”, and she’s funny. She tells it like it is and she tells stories that were probably hard for her to put pen to paper. That’s admirable. She’s bold and she’s got some good advice. Plus she uses some of my favorite quotes which I love! There’s no way I’m going to list all of them because she quoted a lot of my favorites plus she’s even got some original quotes which I really liked!!
“Comparison is the death of joy” – Mark Twain
“What other people think of you is none of your business”. – Regina Brett, well Hollis said “Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business” and it’s still one of my favorite quotes regardless of how these women use their words. One of my school teachers use to say this all the time when I was younger so it’s a phrase I’ve heard most of my life, so I can’t give either of these ladies credit for it, but it’s going to be one of my favorites for all of time.
I really like this one:
“A lifetime of believing that your value—or lack thereof—is determined by your body or your face or your whatever means that you’ve got a lifetime of negative talk in your head playing on repeat. You need to replace that voice with something positive. You need to replace that voice with the opposite truth—the thing you most need to believe. So come up with a mantra and say it to yourself a thousand times a day until it becomes real.” – Rachel Hollis
Let me explain why that one spoke to me.
Negative talk was the only thing I had to hold on to growing up. Even in my early 20’s when I was in the best shape of my life, when I ran 5 miles a day, was slender and athletic and by all means considered “pretty”, I never considered it. I never have. To this day I don’t. You will find two pictures hanging up in my home. They are pictures of my daughters. I don’t have family pictures. I don’t have wedding pictures. They do not exist. I have two pictures of my daughters on the wall. That’s it. I don’t want to look at myself in photos because I don’t like to look at myself at all. A lifetime of negative talk. (Ironically, the Lord blessed me with a job with an incredibly, faithful ministry-boutique – where I have to take pictures of myself. Hahaha. If anyone ever says the Lord doesn’t have a sense of humor ….. remind them we are made in His image! lol)
If I could only be better…..but coming with a mantra and saying it to yourself a thousand times a day won’t make it real. Jesus is the only who can break chains. Truth? “Replace it with an opposite truth”. God’s word, the Holy Bible, is the only Truth and until you know what God says about you, you’re going to be stuck in bondage.
Let me tell you where I come from.
If I could only be better.
The kind of home I grew up in…the only promise I could keep to myself is that my children would never feel the way I did. If only I could be better. That they could live in a home where you couldn’t cut tension with a knife (If only I could be better), where they didn’t have to hear screaming and cursing (If only I could be better), or watch their daddy punching holes in the walls (If only I could be better) or wonder how bad their welts were going to hurt (If only I could be better). They wouldn’t have to be completely confused about who they were because they didn’t know where they belonged (If only I could be better). I think I spent most of my young adult years trying to “unbecome” who I was and now I am who I am. Of course to that I say, you’ll never know who you are until you know Whose you are; that you were created by Him and for Him. I know that now. My daughters have been born into a family with that foundation. We are starting that legacy for them. Now I am the better version of me and now am really living that life of the girl I was always meant to be. Unfortunately there are very real obstacles standing in my way but it took a lot for me to break down my walls. When I read Rachel’s book I thought, hey, I knew that girl. So I can see where there are girls reading this that could benefit if they are where I once was, except there’s no emphasis on the cross.
My favorite Rachel Hollis quote, obviously:
“We have chocolate in common – that’s enough.”
There you have it. The best quote in the history of ever. Ever. Maybe this book isn’t so bad.
The book is an uplifting, positive book and a good read all the way around. There are so many people in the world who are in terrible places and really if they read a book like this – maybe it would help them to get out of a rut and to try to see stuff in a different light if they’re in a place they just can’t see themselves getting out of. I laughed and wanted to hug her in parts as I nodded my head yes in agreement. Then in other places I was in tears. I admitted that to some friends of mine when we talked about this book the day after I read it but I was feeling conflicted. This book has such an emphasis on us and our happiness and I couldn’t seem to get past that. Y’all, I understand that anyone in the world may be reading this right now and you have your own beliefs about everything under the sun and beyond – just as I do, but here’s something that I know; happiness is fleeting …. but I get my joy from Jesus. I know that God didn’t sacrifice His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, for our happiness but for holiness. And for what it’s worth, ultimately, we’re not in control of anything, that’s a perception. This whole book is about self-sufficiency and promoting self-esteem and how I can become better at where I’m not enough with no real emphasis on the cross. Self-care is fine .. too much self-love(?)…aren’t we suppose to die to self? This whole ‘we come first’ mentality just screams idolatry to me.There’s a lot of self love. A lot of it. My concern with so much is that she’s putting too much focus on promoting us, all things us; our happiness as the most important thing and it’s just …. no. So I got on Facebook and made a post that mentioned I felt that I should have not recommended it without reading it first (because that was dumb) and that I didn’t think people should read it. I felt convicted and that’s why I made that post. This post:
“This past month I recommended a book to a couple people because several of my friends were crazy about it and I knew these other girls looking for a good read were much like the rest of my tribe. I finally sat down to read the book myself and shame washed over me for suggesting they read it without taking time to have read it for myself. While there are strong points in this book, it promotes self-love and while I believe self-care is necessary, I don’t believe mature Christian women should even read it because seeds will be planted. So girl, yes wash your face. But no, don’t read this book.”
I got many comments within the first hour. A few agreed with me, many were neutral, and several disagreed. I’m sure there are more by now but I clicked on the Hide From Timeline option so I wouldn’t have to keep getting the notifications.
Here’s the thing, I felt convicted after I read that book. I had bought it at Target and began reading it that same afternoon as soon as I got home and finished it the same day; I couldn’t put it down and I began taking notes and kept thinking about what I had read. Girls, there was good stuff in the book. I already said that! But here’s the deal, it’s being sold at Christian book stores and I felt so conflicted, there were just things in the book that had me scratching my head. As a writer I’m not going to always be writing things that are going to align with the Holy Bible because I am a flawed human being, I’m a sinner saved by grace, and I’m just dumb sometimes. I make mistakes constantly. I’m not a theology major. My 11 year old knows more about scripture than I do and I’m not even kidding, you can laugh at me for that or roll your eyes, and sure I wish I could say that I know more but she was raised all her life in church, I wasn’t. She’s been committed to the Lord her whole life and I’m playing catch up. And it honestly doesn’t matter how much scripture I know and don’t know – I’m going to write something that doesn’t align with something or say something – because I sin. I’m a sinner. I didn’t mean to offend anyone with my post and I certainly didn’t mean to upset any of my friends. I surely hope that I didn’t and they were incredibly great and we had mature conversations and were able to agree to disagree but I prayed last night before I decided to write this because I keep thinking about it. I feel like I want to say more but I don’t want it to be an ongoing debate on my Facebook page. The book has good stuff in it but …. it wasn’t for me. Please know that I am writing to you this morning as the biggest hypocrite in the world, okay? Let’s just be clear on that. I’ve blown it more times than I can count but I have to live with myself and my convictions. Friends, by our very nature, human nature, we look and listen with physical-natural eyes and not our spiritual eyes, and that’s where our discernment needs to come in and why we need to pray. Yes, we should encourage others to never give up and to not dwell in self pity but my concern with this book is knowing that we’re going to become infatuated with ourselves.
So right before I made that Facebook post yesterday afternoon and irritated everyone of my friends that loves the book ……….. I had been going over some awesome notes from a really wonderful women’s conference from a few days ago. So let me rewind.
A few days after reading the book I’m attending a conference with hundreds of women and this book gets brought up. These women came from all walks of life. These ladies have attended seminary, are theology majors, are ministry wives, are youth leaders, and some just regular girls like me and they get into this discussion about this book. I began to cry when I realized that I wasn’t alone. I thought I was dumb that I couldn’t handle this book because it’s everything, everyone loves it, and I’m just the odd man out. If we can be transparent, the whole reason I got myself into this mess of recommending this amazing book without reading it in the first place was because I just knew I was going to love it, because I’m just one of the girls right?! But I’m not. I’m not always one of those girls and sometimes that really sucks. Sometimes you’re not always going to be a part of the group or the party or the popular opinion. Grow up and get over it. You’re the only one that’s got to live with you and the only one who can live your life. Moving on. I felt this relief that I wasn’t the outcast because nobody else I knew was agreeing with me.
So some of these ladies began talking about this book and I’m sitting her like yeah, yeah that’s how I feel and of course I didn’t open my mouth because I’m not even smart like these ladies and I don’t have anything smart to add to this conversation. Then a few of the girls began to say something that was an “aha” moment for me and was kind of a “layman” explanation and I thought that’s a good way to explain it. I felt validated. It felt really good. I shouldn’t have needed that, the Lord had already convicted me but He was preparing me in advance, He knew what I would need. He knows my heart. Of course by the time I made the post on social media, one of the girls that was commenting on my Facebook page left a link to a review and it sounded so much like the stuff a couple of the other women were saying. I don’t know if these women had read that review or not and it doesn’t really matter if they had or not – point is – it sounds so much like what they had said and these women, like the woman writing the article, are smart and well spoken and I’m really thankful for Haley for sharing it because I feel it’s definitely something I feel comfortable sharing with other people who want a review for the book. I’ll copy and paste it from my FB and share it below for you if you are interested.
Look, I don’t pretend to be any better, I know I fall short of the glory everyday, it was simply on my heart to retract what I said because I needed to. I should have never told people to read it without reading it myself and I won’t ever do that again, I made a mistake. Like I’ve clearly stated, I think there are really good things in the book and I definitely agree it could help to empower by helping them shift the way they look at themselves and their situations but this is simply my personal feelings. I feel like it’s leading people to idolatry. Anything that is elevating our focus off our maker and onto ourselves….just give it some thought. We all have different convictions. The author undeniably has a gift for encouraging other women but I still believe that people aren’t going to have discernment when reading this book. Because people want to feel good. Because of my faith, I know that God is who He says He is because the Bible tells me so. Hollis says, “Just because you believe it doesn’t mean it’s true for everyone. Faith is one of the most abused instances of this. We decide that our religion is right; therefore every other religion must be wrong.” Here’s where I am. Just because I believe something in general, no it doesn’t make it true for anyone else, but the Bible is the only source of truth because God’s word is infallible. So when we’re talking religion – it may not be other peoples “truth” but the Bible is still “true” regardless of what people believe and whether they accept it. But what she says about “we decide that our religion is right; therefore every other religion must be wrong.” I’m just conflicted.
I love others regardless of who they are and where they are in life; regardless of what they believe in. . . . . that does NOT change my beliefs though. I will believe in God and live for Him and accept that not everyone will enter into eternity and continue to love my neighbors, even those who reject the Father. . . . that does NOT change my beliefs though. I don’t have religion, I have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ, and that’s not comparable to any religion. I have love and tolerance for others regardless of their beliefs and my relationship with God makes me loving and accepting of others. But at the end of the day, I’m not going to tell you that your religion is wrong, I’m just going to tell you about my loving Father, who sent His one and only Son to die on a cross for me, and how He loves you, too. At the end of the day, I’m just going to tell you that Jesus, who was God in the flesh, took all of our sins upon Himself and bore them in His body, so that whoever would believe in Him shall be saved. Since the wages of sin is death, and Jesus died on the cross to pay that penalty, this is how He paid for these sins. That’s what happened and the only way I’m being intolerant of your religion is if I’m neglecting to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with you, because by that I’m saying I have no tolerance for you in Heaven, and Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. We do not truly love others if we’re willing to let them spend eternity in hell. If you’re confessing Jesus as Christ and that He’s your personal savior and the only way …. but then you’re saying, “we decide that our religion is right; therefore every other religion must be wrong”, it just sounds like religious pluralism to me. Also there’s no reason to give God glory for our overcoming our trials if we’re not going to declare Him Lord over all. Just a thought. All religions don’t lead to God, Jesus Christ is the only way to God. I have to ask myself, “Does my life point people to Jesus or confuse people about who He is?”
We all view the world so differently and I love engaging in friendly conversations with mature ladies and my tribe is the best and I’m glad that I was able to have a civil and intelligent discussion with them about this book yesterday and hopefully you’ll be able to do the same with your friends.
“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
~ John 14:6 ~
Here is the link that was shared with me for anyone that is interested. I have read it and it has some interesting points! Worth the read!
