I’ve been sitting in my living room the past couple of hours just smiling as I hear the eruption of laughter that comes in waves from my oldest daughters bedroom. She has a friend over and this is the first time she’s had a sleepover at our house with a friend. It’s a big deal to her. With my youngest always so sick, we’ve never entertained that idea, but things are good this weekend and I told her we should try. I love listening to her and her bestie laughing. So careless and innocent and sweet . . . just free to be themselves.

I love how free children can be. Or should be, I guess.

It makes me think, that’s how it was always meant to be. We were meant to be free, too.

It makes me question, how am I living? Makes me look at my life.

What do you see when you look at your life? Are you living in freedom?

There’s freedom and victory in Jesus. I don’t know what you might be going through today, I don’t know what might be holding you down, but you don’t have to carry it; you can let go of it.

Surrender.

There’s freedom in His presence; when you surrender . . . if you surrender. 

I think of hurting hearts. I think of hurting hearts every single day. Pain is everywhere. It’s all over. It’s in every set of eyes I see, deeply rooted, inescapable . . . though there will be a day of no more tears and no more suffering for those who have put their hope and faith in Jesus and because of that there is also so much joy in those same people who hurt, who have put their trust in Him. We live in a fallen world, friends. This is a hard truth. It’s been like this since Adam and Even first sinned and will be like this until the day that the Lord returns. Because we live in a fallen world, there’s always going to be pain and suffering, there will always be unspeakable tragedies and natural disasters. Some people are so lovely to each other, on the other end, some people treat each other so poorly I’m ashamed when I hear stories of the hurtful things people do.

I know I’ve said before that I don’t like to watch the news because it makes me cry, well I cry about a lot of stuff. My girlfriends would laugh and say it’s the hormones, good ole’ menopause they tease. My husband would just say I’m too super sensitive and that I cry about everything, that’s probably mostly true, too. A lot of stuff breaks my heart, though. Maybe too much, but maybe too much stuff doesn’t break enough peoples hearts. I know some friends that don’t like to cry because they feel like it makes them look weak. Get outta here with all of that. Jesus wept, too, so jot that down.

“Jesus wept.”  John 11:35

Maybe we all need to cry more.

This is the real world.

I cry . . . but I do have God’s comfort. 

I wept yesterday. I have some of the deepest desires of my heart that haven’t come to pass. I have dreams, aspirations, fears, pain, and uncertainty about real life things. That’s my human nature. My tears stain my pillow case at night. If there’s one thing that I’m known for in my tribe, it’s crying. In fact, at a girlfriends house tonight, celebrating her graduation, I was telling some of her family members how I’m teased by my tribe for crying/being emotional; it’s not uncommon for some of my girls to ask if I’ve remembered to put my estrogen patch on. Ha!

When my little girl can’t pronounce her words right the first time, because I know she struggles, I cry; when she pronounces her words right the first time, I cry. When my little one doesn’t eat any food all day (she’s got an eating disorder), I cry. When she eats something, I cry.

When my oldest makes straight 100’s for an entire month on her school work (she’s incredibly smart), I cry. When she gets a lower “A” or a very sporadic B or C (because . . . life), I cry.

When people tell me their good news, I cry. When people tell me their hardships, I cry. When I feel like I’ve done something that’s going to make someone feel bad about themselves, I cry. When I feel like I’ve done something that may have potentially helped or empowered someone, I cry.

Y’all, I just cry, it really doesn’t matter the situation I find myself in; I may just cry.  I cry when I’m happy or excited. I cry when I’m mad or scared. I cry when I’m sad or worried. I’m just a big mess over here, friends!

Sometimes I feel like I’m living in my own little world. That’s no so, though. God cares about every facet of my life. I’m finite so I can’t wrap my head around everything He does/IS doing. He cares so much about us. God gives us the reassurance we need in His word. We need only look.

Did you know God collects our tears?

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”  Psalm 56:8

In the book of Psalm we learn that God collects all our tears in His bottle. Can you imagine that? He cares so deeply for us all that He catches every single tear that we shed? Every. single. tear. Jesus wept, too. To think that the same bottle that holds the Lord’s tears would hold ours . . . how precious and magnificent.

David was pleading for God to be merciful to Him, in Psalm 56. His enemies were in hot pursuit of him, Saul was going to have him killed (Saul was so jealous of David) , and he (David) was really afraid but he was putting his trust in God. Trust in God is the answer to all fear; God is the God of Compassion.

I’m so thankful to love and serve a God who saves, to love and serve a God who cares about everything about every aspect of my life . . . to love and serve a God who collects every single one of my tears in His bottle.

“Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief.”  Psalm 31:9

‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelations 21:4

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”           James 4:10

“My face is red with weeping, dark shadows ring my eyes;”  Job 16:16

 
“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”                      2Corinthians 3:17

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”  Psalm 56:8

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”  John 8:36