Bullies. Trolls. Meanies. Uneducated. I don’t know what words I can use without sounding harsh so I’m going to choose to move past what’s a first thought when I think of some Facebook support group members, but I’m going to say this, some people need to STOP!

Sit back.

Touch their tongue to the roof of their mouths.

Oppose the thoughts trying to force their way down.

Press the “Close” buttons on their screens.

Just Stop.

Here’s the thing, I have joined SEVERAL support groups over the course of the last four years. A mother desperate for help, knowledge, and support; I turned to Facebook. I turned to God, books, magazines, friends, doctors, family, and eventually I turned to Facebook. I found there are support groups for literally everything out there. I am thankful for these groups because I have been able to connect with other families who are struggling through the same things I have been and I mean things like watching my child suffer with medical issues and sensory problems and eating aversions, I’m in groups for all these different things. But there are a couple of “Support Groups” that I’m in that are anything but supportive sometimes and I see women bashing each other and my mouth drops open and my heart tears in two and I just can’t even deal with it. It’s amazing, isn’t it? The age we’re living in where women are MARCHING together for so many different things. We’re demanding equality, rights, support, fair treatment, and everything else ……. but we can’t even do it ourselves. It shakes me to the core.

I certainly don’t want any of you to be subjected to Facebook bullying so here’s a DO and DO NOT list for any support group you may be in, I hope it helps you to not be bullied, chastised, interrogated, cursed, banned, ridiculed, belittled, harassed, and humiliated. Basically what I’m saying is just follow this easy-to-follow list and you’ll not be an “idiot” in your support group………that group you went to in order to be supported in and not be called an “idiot” in.

So, you’re welcome …

DO ask a question that everyone in the group, EVERYONE, will be interested to read.

DO NOT ask a question that has ever been asked before.

DO ask a question that pertains to your real life experience.

DO NOT ask a question that pertains to your real life experience if it could ever possibly offend another human being.

DO be helpful and answer someones question if you have some relevant information to share.

DO NOT answer someones questions if your answer is going to, in anyway, resemble a reply that has already been given.

DO use appropriate emojis so your true emotions can be expressed.

DO NOT use  emojis that express your true emotions because they’ll probably get you kicked out of the group.

DO go back and read the “page rules” that you lied about reading when you agreed to read and follow them when you joined them group.

DO NOT try to moderate anything in the group if you’re not an actual moderator, they don’t like that.

DO offer advice on what things have worked for you.

DO NOT offer advice on what things have worked for you if those things don’t work for other people.

Here’s the deal, I love support groups. I have found some great advice and gained some wonderful friendships through the last few years in support groups. But people like to hide behind their devices and attack any idea or suggestion that doesn’t sound right to them, that didn’t work for them, that they didn’t think of first, or just to have something to argue about. Some people shouldn’t be in support groups and some people are just so lost and hurting that they’re out to make you feel as bad as they do; others feel that there way is the only way; some people simply aren’t capable of compromise I fear.

Sure there was sarcasm and humor behind this post but too much truth, too. My advice to you, rather my plea, is that the next time someone makes a comment/question/post on a support group that you’re in, please don’t say anything if you can’t be kind. I know how fortunate I am to have an entire community of people surrounding me, loving on my family, but I know all too well that there are others who don’t have any support at all ….. you may be it! The one post you read today on that support group, whether it’s something another mom shared because she thought it was funny or interesting, or it’s a question that’s been asked 100x already, or it’s something that isn’t even very relevant to the group you’re in ….. your “paths” are crossing for a reason: be kind, be love.

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

Luke 6:31

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.“

Galatians 5:22-23