This will truly be the summer to remember. I’m not sure how we’d ever forget this summer. We had such a journey starting the summer moving to Dallas for a month to stay in the hospital and while we were gone my oldest went to two summer church camps, and she had a blast. In fact, upon coming home from the last camp she went to, she said, “Mom, I had the best time of my life!” Her face just lit up the sky. I was so excited for her! We’ve had piano lessons, swim lessons, follow-up doctor appointments, and my daughter and I still are having some growing pains about something and this summer we’re going to face a giant together, and tomorrow I’ll check into the hospital first thing for surgery. Yes, it’s “that” summer.

That summer when things were so busy I didn’t know whether I was coming or going.

That summer when I realized a lot of the things that I thought I needed to “worry” about or try to control I didn’t need to second guess anymore.

That summer when I realized that if something wasn’t going to be a big concern to me in five years down the road that it didn’t deserve five minutes of my worrying heart, because I’ve been maxed on anxiety.

That summer when I realized that at some point I needed to stop overthinking and feeding my self doubt.

That summer when I resolved to stop replaying failed scenarios in my head, because the ending would ultimarely remain the same.

That summer when I decided that I was going to be the friend that I wanted to have. So many of the girls I love concur that we often don’t talk or hang out b/c we assume the other would text/call if they wanted to speak . . . I’ve decided to step out more often from my comfort zone.

That summer when I sat silently in a hospital room, night after night, week after week, crying. Sometimes out of exhaustion, other times out of relief. Often out of loneliness, when we were so far from home and so tired.

That summer when some hospital staff planned an afternoon with my daughter to give me some “free time” to have a hot meal and relax, so I grabbed some Chinese (who knew Chinese was so good) and my Bible and sat on the sofa and closed my eyes for some time in my prayer. I realized that I don’t get to sit silently nearly enough. I realized I had so many things going on in my life that I was trying to make my life so loud I could drown out the hurt on my heart. I turned it all off. The phone, the computer, and shut the door. Just His Holy Word, like a sweet balm to my soul, as I sat there.

That summer I realized that there’s more to me, so much more to me, than I’ve ever given myself credit for. I’m so much more than any negative thought I have, so much more than anyone else’s opinion, and so much more than anyting I’ve done.

That summer when I decided that what I really wanted was to just live in the purpose that He made me to live in . . . to love others so deeply.

That summer when I ran across a quote from Patsy Clairmont that challenged my perspectives, “I used to misjudge people because I measured them against my own undeveloped heart.”

. . . that summer.